GOOD FOR GOODNESS SAKE

I am always amused when clients define themselves, food or an entire day by the terms "good" or "bad". 

This judgement is usually determined by their actions, or an event that has occurred. I typically remark that both adjectives seem a bit extreme. People, food and a twenty four hour period are neither good nor bad. They just are.

Now the real value comes in observing something. If I determine that a certain behavior or food item may be harmful to me, I may consider eliminating it. 

Rather than waste time replaying and criticizing, it may be more helpful to decide what to do about it.

SANTA KNOWS

Winter Warlock:
If I want to change the reflection I see in the mirror each mourn. You mean its just my election to vote for a chance to be reborn!

Both:
You put one foot in front of the other. And so you'll be walking out the door

GO AHEAD IT'S THE HOLIDAYS DON'T TAKE ONE

For many the holiday season just around represents a time of "fear". The fear of being tempted by the holiday cookies, cakes, pies and other desserts. Most will talked about it as if it is beyond their control. This seems really absurd to me. The notion that a bunch of items from a bakery can "control" one's decision seems to be a massive public brainwashing.

A piece of candy has no more control over you than anything else outside of you. If you decide to be a victim you are still the one deciding. Take responsibility for the decisions you make in your life. Including what you put into your body.

FULL OF THANKSGIVING

For most people Thanksgiving is not just a time for turkey and stuffing but an opportunity to stuff themselves. In fact many will act as if it is a necessary part of the celebration. I am not suggesting that one bypasses the celebration, but I think one can commemorate the day without making the food the guest of honor.

It is certainly possible to give thanks without overeating. It makes more sense to be full of thanks than to be full of extra calories.

DATE WEIGHT?

Eating out has become the number one past time. Whether it is with business partners, friends or date, it seems to be the easiest event to pick.

For those of us who enjoy dating, Sunday brunches with friends or have to make lunch meetings, there are some simple solutions. Practice pausing during the meal. Most of us are geuinely focused on the comversation and this may actually cause us to eat more. Begin to rehearse putting your fork down everytime you speak or listen. This will cause natural breaks. Also pause for a few moments between bites. This will give you a moment to process your food and consider whether you are still hungry.

Creating the habit of pausing will automatically slow you down and you will be less likely to consume more than you need.

THE BATTLE INSIDE YOU

For those of you who feel and or have ever described yourself as a soldier battling a weight problem—let me remind you that how you view something does and will affect the outcome. In other words if you are anticipating and experiencing things as a difficult war zone, it will not be something you want to face on a regular basis. It might actually prompt you to quit.

Suppose that you were to examine at the same situation and view it differently. Let’s say, you were to describe it a “challenge” or “character builder”. Something that is not so ominous and denotes a sense of personal achievement upon completion. You would be more likely to be drawn to it. Think about how you feel about your body, your health program, and your exercise routine. Now take a moment, be creative and begin to perceive it differently. And just notice how begins to change things.

REFORM YOUR OWN HEALTH

I support someone seeking professional medical advice especially to prevent future health issues.

Now what I am puzzled about is why some people would prefer to get ill versus taking better care of themselves in the first place. The future of health care is prevention. Seek assistance to prevent illness and promote health. With the continue rise of health care and no real solution on the horizon, not taking care of yourself is just financially irresponsible.

TIME ENOUGH

People come to me asking me to "make them" motivated to exercise. This is a big mistake. Motivation is determined by our goal. If you want it bad enough it becomes a priority.

This is a hard one to overcome. It’s really the failure to prioritize your workout above everything else that causes people to fall back into old habits of being "lazy".

If you watch one television show a day--you have time to exercise.

YOU CAN GET SATISFACTION

It was brought to my attention that in many languages the words pleasure and satisfaction were not synonymous.

The word pleasure was defined as short term. Satisfaction is associated with long term. I suppose you can decide which you would prefer--immediate pleasure or long term satisfaction. But keep in mind they are not the same. 

And ask yourself if the immediate is worth it. Or is the long term more rewarding?

NO JOKE

“A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 10 lb. weight loss program. The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her neck. She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company The sign reads, "If you can catch me, you can have me." Without a second thought, he takes off after her. A few miles later huffing and puffing, he finally gives up. The same girl shows up for the next four days and the same thing happens On the fifth day, he weighs himself and is delighted to find he has lost 10 lbs. as promised. He calls the company and orders their 5-day/20 pound program. The next day there's a knock at the door and there stands the most stunning, beautiful, sexy woman he has ever seen in h is life. She is wearing nothing but Reebok running shoes and a sign around her neck that reads, "If you catch me you can have me". Well, he's out the door after her like a shot. This girl is in excellent shape and he does his best, but no such luck. So for the next four days, the same routine happens with him gradually getting in better and better shape. Much to his delight on the fifth day when he weighs himself, he discovers that he has lost another 20 lbs. as promised. He decides to go for broke and calls the company to order the 7-day/50 pound program "Are you sure?" asks the representative on the phone. "This is our most rigorous program."

"Absolutely," he replies, "I haven't felt this good in years." The next day there's a knock at the door; and when he opens it he finds a huge muscular guy standing there wearing nothing but pink running shoes and a sign around his neck that reads, "If I catch you, your ass is mine." He lost 63 pounds that week.”

It’s a funny joke because what it actually illustrates is that if you want something bad enough you’ll do it. The guy in the joke always had the ability to lose weight, he just didn’t do it. The same can be said about all goals. The question is not whether or not you will get your goal but how bad you want it and how hard you are willing to work for it.

QUALITY COUNTS

While attending a group function a woman was kind enough to bring coffee and a batch of chocolate chip cookies. I thought it was very kind and generous of her. I accepted the coffee but took a pass on the sugar as did another member. He was trying to lose weight, and I just chose not to put sugar into my body.
One of the very thin ladies grabbed a handful and boasted in front of the rest of us how she was not concerned with calories. She was bragging about her choice to eat anything she wanted.
My only reply was that I too could eat anything I wanted to. In fact, everyone is eating by choice. I  think you should consider the quality of your caloric intake. If my body only needs a certain amount of calories a day it just makes sense to consume quality foods. My belief is that the quality of the food is always important.
You do have the freedom to chose. You can chose to be healthy. To fill your body with the beneficial nutrients. Or you can chose to an unhealthy body---thin or not.

COMPARE OR INSPIRE ?

One thing overweight people do best is compare themselves. I suppose that’s true for a majority of people as well.  Healthy comparisons can be good. It can inspire you to move toward greater goals or take action toward improvements. However, if you don’t have confidence-comparing yourself can lead to less confidence. Most of the time the greatest improvements are made when you concentrate on your own achievements. Regardless of why you may compare yourself, ultimately it takes away from the one thing that does matter—what you want. I think it best to let go of any judgements, be clear about your desires, and focus focus focus.

YOU DON'T NEED A FOUR LEAF CLOVER FOR LUCK

The phrase that all successful people in any given area (physical fitness, business etc) dislike the most; "You are so lucky." Luck has nothing to do with it.

Throughout the years my peers and I often find ourselves discussing why only 3% of any given field is successful. In other words, only 3-5% of law students go on to be successful lawyers. Only 3-5% of people who get certified as a hypnotherapist will actual do it full time. Only 3% of the population is debt free. And the list goes on and on.

We have concluded that success is often determined by due diligence. The person who keeps showing up and doing the work will often be in the upper percentile. Certainly I can testify that in the field of physical fitness the person that puts in the best effort at the gym will get the best results. I am not suggesting that you spend hours at the gym --- although if you have the time being physical should always trump watching television. I am suggesting that if you continue to put in a quality work out you WILL get results.

So if you happen to see me at the gym--know that I probably got up early to allot proper work out time and prepare a healthy breakfast, the night before I most likely passed on desert, did not consume alcohol in an effort to "relax" or "have a good time." What I did do was create my own luck. If you want to be lucky you have to put in the work. Stay positive. And all the luck will come to you.

FEEL LIKE EATING?

Your feelings can alter from one experience to the next. There are going to be times in our life when things happen that we may not be too happy about—but recognize that emotions are fleeting. And when they go you will still be here. Ready to experience the next one. Emotions are momentary and should not dictate what we are going to eat, or how we feel about ourselves, health etc.

Eating a bag of chips or cookies will not make the "feeling" go away. It may change your focus for ten minutes, but you can change your focus by engaging in any activity. The truth is covering your feelings by eating something unhealthy will only make you feel worse. You are causing yourself to be trapped in a cycle. Whatever is troubling you WILL change. But the consequences of what you choose to do about it may linger for much longer. You are intelligent enough to recognize food is not the answer. Food is not a solution. It is energy for your body. But it doesn't solve a problem (unless the problem is nutrition or hunger)

And of course you never know what adventures await you. Just because an event may seem like “things aren’t going your way”—well, that may not be true. It could be the event that leads you to something new. Like getting in control of your health.

HOW TO DISCIPLINE YOUR DISCIPLINE

Discipline is not something you are born with. It is a mental muscle that needs constant training. Like any other muscle, if you don’t use it, it will weaken. It takes more than just wanting to be disciplined. It is an ability that must be developed and tended to. If it appears easy for some, it is because those people have cultivated it for a very long time.

It isn’t something you can grab out of the top drawer when you need it. You have to have it ready when you need it. Begin slowly by creating a reward and consequence game for your behaviors.Remember no muscle gets into shape immediately. You have to methodically build it and maintain it. All your choices affect this muscle.

(taken from my book: "Head Over Meals-Thinking Your Way To Being Thin Happy & Healthy")

BE YOUR VALENTINE

With Valentine's Day approaching, relationships become a primary focus. Every card store and flower shop is filled with the idea that every man and woman is madly in love. But for some, it is a painful reminder of being alone. Most people will resign to statements such as; "All the good ones are taken." "Why bother, sooner or later they cheat." Or even "I attract all the wrong ones"

If you are not in a relationship and you want to be, the fault may be in your beliefs and what you are projecting out. If you believe something to be true, you will find evidence to reinforce it.

Quantum physics has already showed that the scientist affects the outcome of the experiment just by what they expect to find. If you observe light as a wave, it behaves as a wave. If you observe light as a particle, it behaves as a particle.

The interaction of your observations and the filters of your perception affect everything you perceive. You, the observer, see what you expect to see. So if you believe that "all men are cheaters" or "woman only date rich men", you will find that to be true. You will find the evidence you need to make your belief true. And the cycle will continue.

And ask yourself this, if relationship are so "awful", then why do you want one? Perhaps if you focus on the things you do like, you might begin to attract something (someone) more positive.

Now I'm not saying that everyone should be in a relationship. Actually, you can learn something from your happy single friends. Simply be happy with what you do have. All too often people focus on what they don't have instead of what they do. If you are single you can enjoy being single. If you knew that in two years you would be married, you might be enjoying being single right now.

All too often people focus on what they don't have instead of enjoying what they do have. The key to lasting happiness is to enjoy the relationships when you are in one and enjoy being single when you are not. A mate does not determine your self worth, and will not solve a lack of self-esteem. You enter relationships because you want one, not because you need one.

Take responsibility for your actions and behavior. Ask yourself truthfully what have you been doing in your past relationships? Are you willing to change old patterns and beliefs that are no longer working for you? If you insist on being "needy" you will be by yourself. When it comes to relationships, two halves do not make a whole.

There are two things you inevitably attract in your life, the things you fear and the things you love. Why? Because you put a lot of energy into both. Typically, positive people attract positive things. And so the emotions you experience will attract people and events that will assist you in actualizing these emotions. For instance, what you fear will draw people to you that will help you perceive and experience those fears. On the positive side, focusing on the things that you love can make you irresistible. If you truly understand this, you will understand that if you want to find the "right" person, first look inside of you, and find your best. The rest will follow.

YOUR PERSONAL RELATIONSHIP

Good relationships start with good communication, but relatively few of us communicate effectively. Psychology teaches us that effective communication starts with the ability to create rapport.

Rapport is the state of ease and trust, where communication flows without resistance. You are naturally in rapport with 25% of the people you come in contact with. It doesn't happen consciously. When someone says "I feel like I've known you all my life" or "It's so easy to be with you," this is unconscious rapport.

Good communicators establish and maintain rapport unconsciously. You can create the same results through conscious awareness. This is important not just with relationships outside ourselves,nut the relationship we have with ourselves.

Most of us go about our day without communicating with our physical bodies. Without rapport, no meaningful exchange is possible. From a health point of view, you are more likely to make better choices when you bring the needs of your physical body to your conscious awareness.

Develop a more effective relationship with your physical body.

CONSTANTLY COMPARING VS HEALTHY COMPETITION

One thing overweight people do best is compare themselves. I suppose that’s true for a majority of people as well. The comparison seems to be the basis of how people may view themselves. “My body will never look like that” or “I ran a mile but Bob ran two.” Healthy comparisons can be good. It can inspire you to move toward greater goals or take action toward improvements. However, if you don’t have confidence-comparing yourself can lead to less confidence. Most of the time the greatest improvements are made when you concentrate on your own achievements. Regardless of why you may compare yourself, ultimately it takes away from the one thing that does matter—what you want. I think it best to let go of any judgements, be clear about your desires, and focus focus focus.

MIND YOUR OWN FOOD BUSINESS

My clients who have decided to fine tune their eating habits are sometimes  met with resistance from their friends or families. Often it is with "innocent/caring" statements  such as "Let's just have fun. You can worry about it tomorrow." "Nobody wants to go out to eat with you anymore." or  "You are making me feel bad about my food."

Criticism that isn't supportive undermines our progress. And personally I think when people feel a need to comment on my food choices it's just plain rude. However, i remind myself that typically the comments others make tends to highlight their insecurities.  If you are the one making the comments ask yourself why you think the other person isn't "fun"?  Is food so central to your having fun. Or do you feel guilty about the choices you are not making?

YOU MIGHT BE INSANE

Thinking out loud, a friend expressed "I wonder what my New year's resolution should be". Without hesitation I replied "The same one you made last year." 

For a few years I have witnessed my friend swearing this would be the year he would get slim and healthy.The name of the diet changes but the results are the same. 

I have noticed three things that have remained constant all these years. First, he has a copy of my book which he has yet to read. Second, when he does ask me a question he refuses to listen to the answer. He is only interested in telling me what he thinks. Finally he keeps asking me what to do

As we al know the definition of insanity is doing the same thing and expecting something different. Clearly there are a lot of insane people because weight control is a sixty million dollar industry.

It isn't about changing to a new diet or new weight group. It's about changing the way you think. Deciding to alter the beliefs and attitude that are simply not working for you. You already have tried almost every diet. Why not approach it a new way? Try something new. New thoughts. New decisions. New predictions. New choices. New You.